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Hello Byrd Lovers, it's Dirty Daisy 5.0 once again on the World Wide Web......I have some sad sad sad news, our beloved Buzz has now officially moved on as the best lead singer the band ever had..........well, he should have been the best as he was the bloody first lead singer of the awesome band called Dirty Byrd..........but as for Buzz moving on, some may say it was from the throat rogering I gave him on New Year's Eve after the gig at Walsh's......some others may say was due to him coming out and supporting the National Liberal Party.........others have mention 'The Stalker'........ahhhhhhh......the memories of our favourite Stalker..........but never the less, I need to wipe whatever it is running down my legs and toughen up.......

In tribute to Buzz, I've sprung a leak, time for me to retire......Buzz it's been a pleasure......Rock on mate!!!!

 

Daisy 5.0.....OUT!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dear Daisy, I've recently been contemplating a career change to be in the adult film industry, but have been coping a little bit of flack from my parents and husband....... I believe from what I saw at your gig last week at The Nth Nowra Tav, you'd be a wise person who I could rely on for constructive comments. I look forward to your feedback and wisdom.....:) Kamal.

 

 

 

Dear Byrd Lover,

Well well well, with a name like Kamal, no bloody wonder you are coping some flack!!!

Why are people so unkind???

And as for your husband, when the f^#k did our queer Prime Minister (who ever it is this week) make gay marriage legal???

.....don't get me wrong, I'm all for something in the back passage, but there will need to be some man-scaping going on beforehand if you want some Daisy action!!!

Arrrrhhhhh, where was I........oh yes.......the Porn Industry.....arrrrhhhh, the memories........I recommend listening to 'Bukakke Tears' by Steal Panther before you start dropping your pants.....

But lets cut to the chase, if you cant ski down a mountain with a pole in each hand, your wasting your bloody time.....go get a job in a zoo and work on loving monkeys........then send your husband to me!!!!

 

Daisy.....OUT!!!

 

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Dear Daisy,

I think I've just been bitten on my arm by a Brown Snake.....I'm 2 hrs from the closest hospital.....will I survive?? What should I do??

Help me, regards, Big Willy.

 

Dear Byrd Lover,

Some would say that the Parramatta Eels have more chance of winning a game than you do of surviving........but Daisy says, urinate on your arm.....it can't hurt......good luck Byrd Lover.

 

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Dear Daisy,

I've heard The Byrd has a 4th wing member now......is this so?? If this is the case, I don't quite know what to do as I love the original 3 wings so much.....not sure if I have enough love in me......

Regards, I. P. Daily.

 

Dear Byrd Lover,

How the f**k do you think I feel........now I've got to do all 4 of them each night!!!

 

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Dear Daisy,

Last Saturday night I bought a pair of your Dirty Byrd undies......I took the home and put them on, but even my small pee pee was feeling cramped......do you do refunds??

Regards, Richy Junk.

 

Dear Byrd Lover,

You idiot, no bloody wonder they were uncomfortable, they are ladies undies Richy!!!

As for the warranty......as if I want them back now your little pee pee has jizzed all over them!!!

P.S. I bet you made up your name???

 

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Dear Daisy, I've heard there's a chance the White Wolf will be appearing at the Nth Nowra Tav gig on Sat night. Is this true?? S. Marks

 

Who the f#%k told you???

The White Wolf is a figment of many weak persons imagination, but not that of mine.......with those grey nostril hairs, saggy granny arms, and ingrown toe nails, The White Wolf is alive and kicking this weekend at The Tav!!!

My friend, The White Wolf......has got something to put in you........Danger......it's all so High Voltage!!!!!

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23/1/17

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  • Message Details:

    • Name :Bobby Blowshard

    • Subject : Lookin for love

    • Message :

    • Dear Daisy, I can't help notice you at gigs in your silicone looking body. Mmmm.... Do you have a boyfriend , or shall I say, bed friend ? Having a similar body mass to yourself, if you blow me in the right place, I can inflate to your heart's desire.... Look out Daisy , I am cumming for you ....

    • Email : blowshardanywhere@anytime.com.au

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'If you have a question for Dirty Daisy, go to our Contact page and submit an email and you'll receive a valuable and educating response' 

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